I only have a few days left at my current job and it has been a veritable nightmare. There is nothing quite like being ignored to make you feel like shit. I work my full 40 hours a week and go home to work more on trying to find another job. Also I am going to class at night and on the weekends to get my teaching certificate as a fallback. Ovaerll I am just so overwhelmed it isn’t funny. I have to try to keep it together when I am at home so that I won’t end up taking it out on HH or Z. Lord knows I haven’t been very succesful at doing that lately. I can’t seem to keep my shit together and I end up treating everyone else like shit since that is how I feel. And to top it off my inlaws are going to be here in a few days to spend Christmas with us. Not only will I have to keep my attitude in check, I will also have to play the perfect little hostess.
I have been dealing with all of the uncertainties for the past 6 months on my own with the help of counseling but they have gotten to the point that I can’t do it anymore. I need some additional assistance. That is why I am going back to my dear old friend the antidepressant. Maybe that will help to even me out a little bit. Too bad I can’t get anything to help with the ferocious anxiety attacks that I have been having too.
I’m not sure but I think it could all be due to the stress that I am under. What do you think?
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