Archive for the ‘Work’ Category
Today is my last day at my current job. It isn’t my official last day, I still have a few days of vacation that I am going to take to wrap up the year. I know, a last day on a Monday. That seems weird to most people but there were a couple of reasons for why I did it that way. My boss and the chick that has the office next to me, namely. They won’t be back from vacation then so I won’t have to ruin my last day with seeing them. Oh the joy!
Otherwise, it is a sad day for me. As horrible as things have been at my job lately, there are quite a few people that I have really enjoyed working with. They have become my dysfunctional family of sorts. I doubt they will miss me as much as I miss them but there is always that possibility. I would like to think that I have made a difference there even if it is in some small way. I would like to think that I will be remembered and thought of fondly. Most of all though, I hope that management realizes how much I did once I am gone and realizes the mistake that they made. Yeah, like that’s going to happen.
It has been a rough half of the year and one which I don’t want to have to repeat any time soon. The stress that we (my family & I) have been through has been astronomical. So many unanswered questions. So many uncertainties. Thankfully that is all gone and it is time to move on to something better I hope. I will miss working in the plant and having the Operations guys to bullshit with but things just weren’t meant to be there. I held my head high and I can honestly say that I handled the whole situation with maturity and grace. I am proud of myself, as well I should be.
I only have a few days left at my current job and it has been a veritable nightmare. There is nothing quite like being ignored to make you feel like shit. I work my full 40 hours a week and go home to work more on trying to find another job. Also I am going to class at night and on the weekends to get my teaching certificate as a fallback. Ovaerll I am just so overwhelmed it isn’t funny. I have to try to keep it together when I am at home so that I won’t end up taking it out on HH or Z. Lord knows I haven’t been very succesful at doing that lately. I can’t seem to keep my shit together and I end up treating everyone else like shit since that is how I feel. And to top it off my inlaws are going to be here in a few days to spend Christmas with us. Not only will I have to keep my attitude in check, I will also have to play the perfect little hostess.
I have been dealing with all of the uncertainties for the past 6 months on my own with the help of counseling but they have gotten to the point that I can’t do it anymore. I need some additional assistance. That is why I am going back to my dear old friend the antidepressant. Maybe that will help to even me out a little bit. Too bad I can’t get anything to help with the ferocious anxiety attacks that I have been having too.
I’m not sure but I think it could all be due to the stress that I am under. What do you think?
Since having a child, I have frequented many blogs. I have read about off-ramping and on-ramping. I have read about the glass ceiling. Yet none of it has prepared me for this scary time.
As most of you know already, I am losing my job. I have been looking for a replacement job for several months now but there just isn’t much out there in this geographic location for my experience level. Even if there was, would I want to do this again? Would things be any different? Would I be treated like part of the team? Would I be mentored? Would I be trained? Would I be treated like a human being? I have so many doubts about this that it isn’t funny. I am burned out when it comes to this. All of my enthusiasm for what I do seems to be slipping between my fingers. I love the work that I do but I can’t stand the majority of the people I work with and how they treat people. That is what has gotten me burned out, not the work, the politics and interpersonal portions of my job. I am tired of feeling like I am being set-up to fail from the beginning. Maybe there are some good places to work but those probably aren’t the ones that are hiring right now.